Weddings are chaos wrapped in tradition. There are the months of planning, the dress shopping drama, the superstition about not seeing each other before the ceremony, and somehow, your cousin always manages to get too drunk at the reception.

You know the drill – the beautiful mess of flowers, family politics, and friends who honestly came for the open bar. The bride crying during her vows (happy tears, hopefully), the groom looking like he might pass out, and everyone’s aunt giving unsolicited marriage advice.

But here’s what never changes: how the whole thing started.

The Same Old Story

Think about every proposal story you’ve heard. Every rom-com you’ve watched. Every Instagram post that made you roll your eyes at how perfect it looked.

What do they all have in common? The guy gets down on one knee.

We’re all following the same script, and nobody thought to ask if there might be other ways to do this.

Why Are We Still Doing This?

Look, I get it. We often discuss equality. Women are CEOs, astronauts, and world leaders. We’ve figured out how to split the dinner bill and take turns driving on road trips.

But when it comes to popping the question? Suddenly, we’re back in the 1950s, waiting for the man to make the first move.

That’s… weird, right?

Why should women have to sit around hoping their partner will eventually get the hint? Why can’t she just say what she’s thinking and take control of her own destiny?

It’s Just a Question, Not a Gender Role

Here’s the thing that gets me: proposing isn’t about being masculine or feminine. It’s about knowing what you want and having the courage to pursue it.

A woman proposing doesn’t make her “too aggressive” or “desperate.” Just like a man who gets proposed to isn’t somehow less of a man. These are just people who love each other, and one of them decided to speak up first.

Marriage is supposed to be a partnership between equals. So why shouldn’t the proposal reflect that? It’s not about gender, it’s about love and equality.

What If We Just… Changed It?

Imagine if we stopped caring about who proposed to whom. What if we just celebrated people who found love and decided to commit to each other?

Some of the best relationships I know started with the woman making the first move – whether that was asking for the first date, saying “I love you” first, or yes, proposing marriage. I’ve seen these relationships blossom into beautiful marriages, where the proposal story is just a small part of their love story.

Love doesn’t follow a script. It shouldn’t have to.

The Real Point

At the end of the day, the proposal is just one moment. It’s the marriage that actually matters – the daily choice to keep choosing each other, through all the ordinary Tuesday nights and stressful work weeks and family gatherings where someone inevitably brings up politics. That’s the real journey.

But if we start letting women propose, we’ll get better at letting love happen naturally, without worrying so much about who’s supposed to do what. And if you’re worried about what your family or friends might think, remember that their opinions shouldn’t dictate your happiness. What matters most is your love and the relationship you share with each other.

Just a thought.